It's a beginning, don't you know.

When I moved here, here being the most beautiful city in the world they say, it was an attempt to start over. I was running away from a past that was drowning in tragedy, disappointments, and heartbreak, and I needed to breathe. I didn't know what I was going to do here. I had no plan really. But the optimist in me believed that somehow changing locations would change me. I would make new friends. I would change my hair and buy new clothes. I would become fabulous and everything would be okay again.

A year later, it's become brazenly obvious that nothing has really changed. I find myself hiding from the world, resorting to old (bad) habits, fantasizing about what could of been, and avoiding all my problems. I've gained no insight. I've certainly not found myself. And I'm even considering running away yet again to a different place.

The thing is, it's not about changing what's around me. It's about changing me. I need to change me. I need to face my issues, lay them in front of me, and decide what to do about them. Decide like an adult. Because I am one now.

This will be a journal about changes. And new beginnings.